iJune Part 1 of 2
by C.M. James
Summary: There's a new girl in town and her name is June. However June is not all that she seems to be. And has eyes on Jake Randall, Carly's crush. You can see where this is going...guaranteed to make you laugh


I Carly

"I June"

Written by C.M. James

INT. Apartment- 3rd Floor- Night

FADE IN:

(We enter on Carly and Sam finishing with their show for the night, both girls applauds their last guest.)

CARLY

Lets give it up for our guest Davie Mooney!

(The fake audience applauds.)

SAM

I must say it's amazing what some of people can do huh?

CARLY

I'll never look at cheese the same way again…

SAM

INDEED…well, let's go to the phone poles see what kids think about tonight's show…Freddie.

(Freddie is snoring loudly at the computer.)

CARLY

Freddie?

SAM

I"LL handle this.

(Sam walks over hands behind her back. She leans over Freddie and taps him on the left shoulder. He wakes up and she smacks him from the right, knocking him off his stool.)

FREDDIE (OS)

EVIL WOMAN!

SAM

Tell me something I don't KNOW!

(Freddie hits the caller button.)

CARLY

You're on iCarly!

VIEWER #1

Yeah I just wanted to say that I thought that was best iCarly ever!

CARLY (Flattered)

Well…

(Carly flips her hair.)

CARLY (CONT'D)

I Try.

VIEWER #1

I loved the part with the girl and the grape flavored unicycle.

SAM

It was one of my favs…

(Freddie hits the caller button.)

CARLY

You're on iCarly!

VIEWER #2

iCarly is so cool! What's you're favorite episode so far?

SAM

Well we really like them all, but for you're sake we'll say this one.

VIEWER #2

Um…Thanks I guess…

SAM

You're hoggin' air time NEXT!

VIEWER #2

iCarly sucks!

SAM

SAY WHAT?

CARLY

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

SAM

OH SHE DID!

CUT TO:

(iCarly Theme)

FADE IN:

INT. School – Day

(We fade in on Sam walking over to Carly's locker.)

CARLY

You look tired.

SAM

I spent the whole night studying for Ms. Briggs' test.

CARLY

You mean the one that's next week?

SAM

And there goes my sanity.

(Carly and Sam see Jake Randall walk by.)

CARLY

Oh my god Sam here comes Jake Randall!

JAKE

Hey Carly.

(Carly makes an incomprehensive noise unable to speak, Jake walks along.)

SAM

You're one smooth babe.

(Carly puts away here books.)

CARLY

Let's just get to class…

CUT TO:

Ms. Briggs' Class - Day

(Carly and Sam enter the classroom.)

MS. BRIGGS

Ah, glad to see you girls are FINALLY joining us.

(Carly and Sam take their seats.)

MS. BRIGGS

Now that the little nuisances are here…

SAM

I'm cool with that.

MS. BRIGGS

I can introduce our new student.

(June steps forward to the front of the classroom, the camera pans up from hr to her head.)

JUNE

Hello.

(Carly and Sam are now wide-awake, they recognize the voice.)

MS. BRIGGS

Class, meet June Weinberger.

CARLY AND SAM

JUNE.

(Carly and Sam recognize the voice as Caller #3. June is tall and thin with long red hair. She is very fashionable but already you can tell she's uppity.)

MS. BRIGGS

June here has moves form New York.

JUNE

My dad moved us to Seattle for business. It SUCKS here…

MS. BRIGGS

Charming, June take a seat anywhere you like, JUST DON'T BE PROBLEM.

JUNE

I'll try.

MS. BRIGGS

I'm SERIOUS…

(Briggs grabs June's arm.)

MS. BRIGGS (CONT'D)

You cause a problem and I WILL PUT YOU IN A WORLD OF MISERY!

JUNE (Frightened.)

Okay but can you let go of my arm…REALLY hurts…

(Briggs lets go. June walks to the back of the class and spots Carly.)

JUNE

NO WAY, you're Carly Shay!

Carly

DUH.

JUNE

My sister and I saw your web cast yesterday.

Carly

Yeah I bet you did.

MS. BRIGGS (OS)

WHAT DID I SAY!?

(June rushes to a seat.)

CUT TO:

INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA – DAY

(Carly and Sam wait in the lunch line with their trays.)

SAM

Can you believe she is in our class?

CARLY

I can't believe she's in this state.

(The lunch lady slops a questionable bean like food on her plate.)

CARLY

EW! What is this?

LUNCHLADY PATTY

Tuna Chili Surprise…

SAM

Is it even safe to eat?

(Patty mocks Sam.)

SAM

When did you loose your passion for this job?

(Patty serves the next kid.)

SAM

I swear if I here about June _Weinberger _I'm going to scream.

(Enter Freddie.)

FREDDIE

Hey you guys heard about June's house party?

(Sam screams in Freddie's face.)

FREDDIE

What is the matter with you?

SAM

I have problems!

CARLY

What about June?

FREDDIE

She's throwing a party on Friday at her house…she's invited almost everyone in the school.

PATTY

Really?

FREDDIE

ALMOST.

(Patty walks away. Sam and Carly pay for their food. They then search the Cafeteria for a seat.)

SAM

Check it out Jake is sitting by himself.

CARLY

Are you kidding what would I say? What would I talk about? I could just see it I would walk over there and-

SAM

YO JAKE!

(Jake looks up to Carly as Sam and Freddie flee. Jake waves and Carly walks over she is about to sit down until bumped away by June.)

JUNE

Excuse me.

(Carly is on the floor, the questionable meal on her chest.)

CARLY

Gross…

JUNE

I'm June Weinberger.

JAKE

I know, I heard of your Dad's cheese company.

CARLY

I knew that cheese was familiar!

JAKE

So how do like the school so far?

JUNE

Better…

(June puts her hand on Jake's.)

JUNE

Now that I met you…OW!

(Carly stands up.)

JUNE

Did you just BITE ME?

CARLY

What? Who? ME? WHAT? Wh-? I don't know! What? I have to go now!

(Carly leaves then enters.)

CARLY

Forgot my tray.

(Carly wipes her food off her shirt to her plate.)

CARLY

Goodbye Jake. JUNE.

(Carly walks away.)

CUT TO:

INT. Carly's Apartment – Day

(Carly and Sam enter the living room, Spencer is working on his newest sculpture. A river dancing mermaid.)

CARLY

UGH!

(Throws her backpack in a blind rage where it then hits the sculpture knocking its head off.)

SPENCER

Because the Mermaid deserved to die…

CARLY

This is the worst day ever!

SPENCER

Aw man, my head.

CARLY

Oh will you shut up about the head!

SPENCER

I sense a negative aura around you…Come, come, tell about it and cleanse.

(Carly lies down on the couch.)

CARLY (Fast)

Ok so you Jake Randall right? Well I have this crush on him since like the first day I met him and I thought that he would talk to me if he liked me. Well he did so I thought there was something there. But then this (She says this word slowly.) AWFUL (Resumes the fast speed talking.) Girl comes along to school June Weinberger. Not only did she say that my show-

SAM

Our show.

CARLY (Fast)

Our show sucks but puts the moves ON JAKE! Since she's some hot cheese heiress from New York. She thinks that the world revolves around her well it DOESN'T!

SPENCER

Feel better?

CARLY

I do actually.

(A knock on the door. Carly answers the door to reveal June.)

CARLY

Why are you tormenting me?

JUNE

Excuse me?

(A little girl enters the doorway and kicks Carly in the knee.)

KATIE

Let me in loser!

CARLY

WHO is that?

JUNE

My sister.

CARLY AND SAM

Sister?

KATIE

The names KATIE, say don't spray it.

(Katie blows a raspberry to Sam.)

SAM

IT. WAS. YOU.

JUNE

Wait a minute, what?

CARLY

You're the one who called into iCarly!

KATIE

So you are smart.

JUNE

KATIE! Look the party starts in a while, go upstairs and set up the food okay?

KATIE

Fine.

(Katie turns to Sam.)

KATIE

You're on my list.

(Katie leaves.)

JUNE

Sorry about that.

CARLY

Upstairs?

JUNE

Yeah I live in the penthouse here.

(Sam and Carly stumble in shock.)

JUNE

You okay?

CARLY (Barley Audible)

I'm fine.

JUNE

If you're not busy I was wondering if you wanted to come.

SAM

Well we kind of got this thing to do.

JUNE

iCarly, right. Look I don't know what my sister said but I apologize for her. We sound alike so I mostly get blamed for what she says. So were good?

CARLY

Yeah.

(Spencer looks out the window.)

SPENCER

Hey Jake's here.

CARLY

But you know what iCarly can wait, Sam let's go.

(Carly grabs Sam and they rush over to Carly's room.)

CUT TO:

INT. Carly's Room – Night

(Carly and Sam get ready for June's party we Carly fully but Sam has her back turned the camera.)

CARLY

You know June's not really that bad.

SAM

Yeah, except that her little sister is a shin-kicking shrew.

(Enters Freddie.)

SAM

Don't you ever knock?

FREDDIE

What it's just a room.

CARLY

This not just a room. THIS is a GIRLS room, more importantly MY room.

FREDDIE

Are we doing iCarly or not?

CARLY

That can wait. Right now this is all about Jake and me.

(Carly Searches through her drawer.)

CARLY

Where's all my lip-gloss?

(Sam turns around and reveals that she has out on Carly's lip-gloss all over her face as a joke.)

SAM

Am I beautiful?

(Carly hands Sam a box of tissues.)

SAM

How's the party so far?

FREDDIE

We'll Jeremy Allen put his head in a lampshade thinking it would be funny.

CARLY

Was it?

FREDDIE

Well he fell and tripped over the couch falling into the giant punch bowl so Yeah!

(Spencer knocks on the door.)

CARLY

Who is it?

SPENCER

It's Spencer.

CARLY (To Freddie.)

See, he knows the rules!

SAM

Come in.

(Spencer enters.)

SPENCER

You're still going to the party right?

CARLY

Yeah.

SPENCER

Would you mind taking these toenail clippers with you?

CARLY

Why?

SPENCER

I know this but sound strange but I need you to get some toenail clippings for my sculpture.

CARLY

EW!

SAM

That's weird, even for you.

SPENCER

Well?

CARLY

NO!

SPENCER

Here…

(Spencer puts the clippers on Carly's dresser.)

SPENCER

Think it over…

(Spencer leaves, and the three share a laughs as we…)

CUT TO:

INT. June's Apartment – Night

(We join the party and it is in full swing. Carly, Sam, and Freddie. Freddie goes his separate way but Carly has her eye set on June. She walks over. June is entertaining a crowd of people around her, Carle stands next to Jake.)

CARLY

H-Hi Jake.

JAKE

Sup Carly, June was about to tell us her last vacation.

JUNE

I think I was about twelve then, My Mom and I were driving down to Port Bay penitentiary to pick up my uncle you had just gotten out of prison re right? And it was all going well until mom ate some bad fish she got from a radioactive lake and she was swelling up really bad. I mean her hands, were just literally dripping with puss, it was so nasty I mean it was kind of yellow but most of it was like this pink. And when we finally got to the hospital they had to cut her open and they found this huge tapeworm chewing on her intestines. But she's better now so it's okay.

SAM

Charming, I'm going to be throwing up over there.

(Sam leaves.)

DJ

Alright lets turn up the volume and get down.

(The music becomes extra loud and the kids gather around the dance floor, Jake goes off to dance with the others but Carly walks over to the punchbowl to depressed to even bust a move. She grabs the ladle but the remembers Jeremy and goes over to the soda. She drinks cup after cup to the point where her bladder is about to explode. She rushes over to Sam on the dancelfoor. Who is doing a robot like dance with Freddie.)

CARLY (Barely audible with music.)

Let's go!

SAM

What?

CARLY (Barely audible with music.)

I gotta use the bathroom!

SAM

I can't hear you.

(The Music stops.)

CARLY

I HAVE TO PEE!

(Sam's eyes grow wide open, the crowd laughs.)

DJ

I'll be tacking a short break.

(The well-leveled volume music resumes. Carly and Sam rush to the bathroom.)

CUT TO:

INT. June's Bathroom – Night

CARLY

I cannot believe I made such and idiot out of myself.

SAM

It wasn't that bad.

CARLY

Really?

SAM

Are you kidding? Girl, you BOMBED…

CARLY

AT least this night can't get any worse.

(Carly exits the bathroom, she then sees Jake and June Kissing in the Hallway. We See Carly's run away as we…)

CUT TO:

INT. Carly's Apartment – Living Room – Day

(Carly sits on the couch watching TV; an army of food surrounds her. She's about to stick half a chocolate bar in her mouth until she looks at the chocolate strangely.)

CARLY

You love me right?

(A knock at the door.)

CARLY

Come in…

(Sam walks in and sees the wreckage; she lifts up her foot as she has stepped into some kind of goo.)

SAM

Ew, Carly what happened here and what is this on my shoe?

CARLY

Does it matter? My life is over anyway.

SAM

We go live in an hour and I think you can do better with this Jake situation than staying here in the dark. Eating last years Halloween candy watching…The Commercial Channel.

CARLY

Look at that rabbit. What is wrong with those kids! All he wanted was a bowl of cereal…

SAM

Okay, time to get up.

CARLY

I don't wanna!

(Sam grabs Carly's leg and pulls with all her might. Carly's fingers come loose form the couch and. Sam drags her across the floor to the elevator.)

CUT TO:

INT. Apartment- 3rd Floor- Day

FREDDIE

In 3…2…1…

SAM

Good day world, it's a Saturday Morning which means you get a bowlful of iCarly right now, I'm Sam…

CARLY (Unenthusiastic)

I'm Carly…

SAM

AND it's special request day so you know what that means!

CARLY (Unenthusiastic and Fast)

WE asked online for your special request, callbacks, and favorite moments so here back on iCarly by popular demand, here's unicycle girl.

(A girl comes onstage with a purple grape flavored unicycle and balances on it with her teeth; circus music plays in the background as she peddles around the floor with her hands. All is well until Carly pushes her off.)

SAM

What was that for?

CARLY

Misery loves company…

UNICYCLE GIRL (OS)

I'M bleeding in my mouth!

SAM

You can't go around pushing people of unicycles.

UNICYCLE GIRL

I NEED MEDICAL ASSISTANCE!

CARLY

I just hate having June in my life she's everywhere, its like she's this mole on back just following me everywhere I go its driving me crazy. She's ruining my life!

SAM

Did you think about Ms. Briggs when you mentioned the mole?

CARLY

Yeah…I did.

UNICYCLE GIRL

WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING HELP?

FREDDIE

And were out. Terrible…good job people.

CUT TO:

INT. School – Day - Monday

(Carly, Sam. And Freddie walk down the hallway.)

SAM

Monday already…

CARLY

I can already tell this week isn't going to be good.

FREDDIE

I know what you mean, where starting off today with Briggs' exam.

SAM

EXAM! Oh man I…Meh.

CARLY

Oh no.

FREDDIE

What?

(June and Jake walk down the hall, holding hands and laughing together. They pass our trio like the didn't even exist. Suddenly in June turns her head and looks at Carly with a malicious smile. Suddenly Carly realizes.)

CARLY

Harlot!

SAM

So she was evil all along!

CARLY

I can't believe her! June thinks she can get away with anything well she needs to be taught a lesson. (Sweet voice) Freddie…

(Carly touches Freddie's face.)

CARLY

Would you mind…doing a little favor for me?

FREDDIE

Not at all!

SAM (To Freddie)

Look at you…wrapped around her little finger. You should be ashamed of yourself.

CUT TO:

INT. Girls Bathroom – Day

(June enters a dark bathroom; she flips the switch but no light. Suddenly a flashlight is turned on. She sees Carly's face.)

CARLY

Hello June…

JUNE

Carly?

CARLY

June sit down.

JUNE

But there's no where to-

CARLY

SIT!

(June sits on the floor.)

CARLY

Now you may act all innocent and sweet but I see the real June Weinberger.

JUNE

What?

CARLY

Don't play dumb with me…the look you gave me in the hallway? Man you are one conniving chick!

(June stands up and walks over to Carly)

JUNE

Well I guess even the best of us connivers can't pretend forever. You're right; I was just faking being nice. Face it. I'm rich, popular, and now I have Jake. And you're not going to get in my way.

CARLY

Why would you do something like that? To me, at the party?

JUNE

Because I'm not gonna let you or anybody here keep me from what I want!

CARLY

But that's just crazy!

JUNE

AND?

(Carly gives her an EXACTLY! Look.)

JUNE

I had my eye set on Jake since the first day I got here-

CARLY

YOU got here last FRIDAY!

JUNE (Smiling)

See how fast I work!

(June stops smiling.)

JUNE

Please I've seen the way Jake looks at you, he totally thinks you're hot.

CARLY

He does?

JUNE

Which is exactly why you're going to have to be eliminated socially.

CARLY

Say what?

JUNE

Stay away form Jake, and I won't crush you.

(June walks out of the bathroom. Carly then walks to the door but then trips over the trashcan.)

FADE OUT:


End file.
